Today, I am grateful for so much…
The first five on my list:
Funny how it takes one little tweak in your life to realize what you’ve taken for granted.
I lost a few things this week.
The ability to set my own schedule.
The chance to tie up my running shoes and go run/look at flowers in my neighborhood.
Then, I had to cancel a really important event (one I’ve been planning for 2+ years).
I’m going to have a big permanent scar.
It was a very hard week.
It’s the strangest feeling to really stop and think – Holy hell. I think I might die today. I was curled up going, “So… God. If you and I have anything to discuss, I think now might be a good time.”
Talk about a clarifying moment.
As it turns out – I didn’t die. Ta-da! (Unless I did, in which case this blog is bigger news than I think it is! Ghost blogger! Blogger from the beyond! Think about the tv possibilities!!!)
And the rest of my week has been all about coming face to face with the deep realization that most people spend their entire lives running from –
I can’t do it all on my own.
It’s one of those lovely little phrases that you sort of know, sort of understand, and sort of live by. It makes sense on a surface level too. We live in a world of communities and cities and towns, people who live together for safety and protection and supplies (I can’t grow my own coffee. So – yeah, I think I’m going to need a city to live in.) And, frankly, there’s just not enough space for us to never come in contact with another human.
But believe me, it takes it to a whole other level when I have to lean on someone’s arm to walk across the room.
I’ve been so humbled and so deeply happy this week as people have showed up on my doorstep with food and love. They’ve totally ignored the fact that my hair is sticking up in all directions and that I’m decked out in a giant sweatshirt and leggings. I’ve been the worst hostess ever. “Hey everyone, my kitchen is there. Um, have at it.” My friends are beautiful.
And so… just to put this out in the world in the middle of a really truly terrible week – not everything is terrible. There’s a whole list of things I’m crazy grateful for. (For the start – see above!) There are lovely things in the world, in the middle of it all.
And I can’t wait to get back to my normal life!
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